Being a Mom and Writing

The one commonly asked question in FB writing groups is : How do you find time to write?

I have two kids. Both are under the age of 7. I had them two and a half years apart. My life has been insane since they were born. I self-published my first book in 2016. I did that when my daughter was two and I was a full-time caregiver for my mother. She passed away before I published but I read her the book before I did it. I am hoping she is proud of me.

2016 also saw the birth of my son. During that entire time I was pregnant, I wrote two novels. I published them both in 2017. Life happened and I didn’t write for awhile. I kept taking notes and kept journals and wrote ideas anywhere I could pen them.

2020 was my year. I had found a new inspiration in my life in 2019. I found the band Ghost. Their creativity and music inspired my 4th and 5th novel. I have self-published the 4th novel but the 5th is still waiting to make its release.

How did I do that?

I wrote. I wrote on my phone. I wrote in a spiral notebook. I wrote in a word document each chapter, weekly. If you want to be a writer, it doesn’t matter how you do it. It doesn’t matter how long it took you to write your story. It will get done regardless. Give yourself a break if you cannot spare a few minutes a day to write. There are so many guilt-tripping guides out there that will blame you for not waking up early and writing an hour or two before getting ready for work or getting your kids up and handling your day. Fuck that. Write when you can.

If you are a mom, write when they nap. Write when they are in the bathtub. Write when they are outside playing. Write when they are doing schoolwork. With the upcoming school year, many parents choosing to home school or do virtual learning. Kids learn by example. If they see you sitting at the table with them working hard, they will want to do the same.

I even saw one tip of someone creating a story using Canva that their son or daughter created. It was a fun writing activity that got everyone involved. You do not have to sit at a weathered wooden desk with a typewriter in pants and a nice shirt and bleed your story out. You can be sitting on the floor, in your food stained pajamas with your kids playing around you while you type it out word by word on your phone notes app.

Do not think you have to write while in a certain mindset or situation. Make do with what you got. Books all look the same in their final form. The getting there looks different for everyone.

You are a human being living through a pandemic currently. You should never feel like you SHOULD be writing when there is so much happening around. Take it easy. Write a word. Make a pinterest board of all the things that inspire you. Think about how your characters would react to the pandemic in their world. Stare at your wall and wonder how they make texture on drywall while building homes (joint compound on a roller, I googled for you) and then just start daydreaming.

My daydreaming always leads to writing ideas. But its due to mental health issues (I will write more about that in a later post).

Take it easy mommy or daddy. You are doing just fine. Write when you can. Enjoy your kids. The story will always be there when you want it. Just be patient and utilize your phone apps.

Erin Elyse

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